Oblivious Parents

Ok parents, listen up: Don't give your kids a lot of money while they go to college. They just spend it getting high...yes, your little angel is a druggie behind your back.

Last night some well dressed druggies (obvious college brats) were dumb enough to decide to do their crack next to the Jeep. Anyone who knows my Jeep knows it gets really noisy if you get near it. And if it was your drugged out little angel that was setting the Jeep off...your kid is a dumb ass and you're wasting your money educating him/her.

Lucky

Wasn't completely lucky. He passed away. At least he got out of that horrible house. His illness was too much for him. The other three cats that weren't caught also passed away.

I look at Willow next to me and thank the gods that she is the only cat in the house. She gets all the attention and has regular vet visits. She has a clean house to live in and is completely spoiled.

Her only complaint in life is Ralph the dog.

But we can't have it all our own way, can we?

Please hug your pet today and look around, are they getting the best of everything?

The US Constitution - The Rest of the Amendments

Amendment 11 - Judicial Limits. Ratified 2/7/1795.

The Judicial power of the United States shall not be construed to extend to any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of the United States by Citizens of another State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.

Amendment 12 - Choosing the President, Vice-President. Ratified 6/15/1804.

The Electors shall meet in their respective states, and vote by ballot for President and Vice-President, one of whom, at least, shall not be an inhabitant of the same state with themselves; they shall name in their ballots the person voted for as President, and in distinct ballots the person voted for as Vice-President, and they shall make distinct lists of all persons voted for as President, and of all persons voted for as Vice-President and of the number of votes for each, which lists they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the seat of the government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate;

The President of the Senate shall, in the presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the certificates and the votes shall then be counted;

The person having the greatest Number of votes for President, shall be the President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed; and if no person have such majority, then from the persons having the highest numbers not exceeding three on the list of those voted for as President, the House of Representatives shall choose immediately, by ballot, the President. But in choosing the President, the votes shall be taken by states, the representation from each state having one vote; a quorum for this purpose shall consist of a member or members from two-thirds of the states, and a majority of all the states shall be necessary to a choice. And if the House of Representatives shall not choose a President whenever the right of choice shall devolve upon them, before the fourth day of March next following, then the Vice-President shall act as President, as in the case of the death or other constitutional disability of the President.

The person having the greatest number of votes as Vice-President, shall be the Vice-President, if such number be a majority of the whole number of Electors appointed, and if no person have a majority, then from the two highest numbers on the list, the Senate shall choose the Vice-President; a quorum for the purpose shall consist of two-thirds of the whole number of Senators, and a majority of the whole number shall be necessary to a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible to the office of President shall be eligible to that of Vice-President of the United States.

Amendment 13 - Slavery Abolished. Ratified 12/6/1865.

1. Neither slavery nor involuntary servitude, except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted, shall exist within the United States, or any place subject to their jurisdiction.

2. Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 14 - Citizenship Rights. Ratified 7/9/1868.

1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.

2. Representatives shall be apportioned among the several States according to their respective numbers, counting the whole number of persons in each State, excluding Indians not taxed. But when the right to vote at any election for the choice of electors for President and Vice-President of the United States, Representatives in Congress, the Executive and Judicial officers of a State, or the members of the Legislature thereof, is denied to any of the male inhabitants of such State, being twenty-one years of age, and citizens of the United States, or in any way abridged, except for participation in rebellion, or other crime, the basis of representation therein shall be reduced in the proportion which the number of such male citizens shall bear to the whole number of male citizens twenty-one years of age in such State.

3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President and Vice-President, or hold any office, civil or military, under the United States, or under any State, who, having previously taken an oath, as a member of Congress, or as an officer of the United States, or as a member of any State legislature, or as an executive or judicial officer of any State, to support the Constitution of the United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against the same, or given aid or comfort to the enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability.

4. The validity of the public debt of the United States, authorized by law, including debts incurred for payment of pensions and bounties for services in suppressing insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned. But neither the United States nor any State shall assume or pay any debt or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against the United States, or any claim for the loss or emancipation of any slave; but all such debts, obligations and claims shall be held illegal and void.

5. The Congress shall have power to enforce, by appropriate legislation, the provisions of this article.

Amendment 15 - Race No Bar to Vote. Ratified 2/3/1870.

1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 16 - Status of Income Tax Clarified. Ratified 2/3/1913.

The Congress shall have power to lay and collect taxes on incomes, from whatever source derived, without apportionment among the several States, and without regard to any census or enumeration.

Amendment 17 - Senators Elected by Popular Vote. Ratified 4/8/1913.

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, elected by the people thereof, for six years; and each Senator shall have one vote. The electors in each State shall have the qualifications requisite for electors of the most numerous branch of the State legislatures.

When vacancies happen in the representation of any State in the Senate, the executive authority of such State shall issue writs of election to fill such vacancies: Provided, That the legislature of any State may empower the executive thereof to make temporary appointments until the people fill the vacancies by election as the legislature may direct.

This amendment shall not be so construed as to affect the election or term of any Senator chosen before it becomes valid as part of the Constitution.

Amendment 18 - Liquor Abolished. Ratified 1/16/1919. Repealed by Amendment 21, 12/5/1933.

1. After one year from the ratification of this article the manufacture, sale, or transportation of intoxicating liquors within, the importation thereof into, or the exportation thereof from the United States and all territory subject to the jurisdiction thereof for beverage purposes is hereby prohibited.

2. The Congress and the several States shall have concurrent power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

3. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Amendment 19 - Women's Suffrage. Ratified 8/18/1920.

The right of citizens of the United States to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of sex.

Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 20 - Presidential, Congressional Terms. Ratified 1/23/1933.

1. The terms of the President and Vice President shall end at noon on the 20th day of January, and the terms of Senators and Representatives at noon on the 3d day of January, of the years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not been ratified; and the terms of their successors shall then begin.

2. The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, and such meeting shall begin at noon on the 3d day of January, unless they shall by law appoint a different day.

3. If, at the time fixed for the beginning of the term of the President, the President elect shall have died, the Vice President elect shall become President. If a President shall not have been chosen before the time fixed for the beginning of his term, or if the President elect shall have failed to qualify, then the Vice President elect shall act as President until a President shall have qualified; and the Congress may by law provide for the case wherein neither a President elect nor a Vice President elect shall have qualified, declaring who shall then act as President, or the manner in which one who is to act shall be selected, and such person shall act accordingly until a President or Vice President shall have qualified.

4. The Congress may by law provide for the case of the death of any of the persons from whom the House of Representatives may choose a President whenever the right of choice shall have devolved upon them, and for the case of the death of any of the persons from whom the Senate may choose a Vice President whenever the right of choice shall have devolved upon them.

5. Sections 1 and 2 shall take effect on the 15th day of October following the ratification of this article.

6. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission.

Amendment 21 - Amendment 18 Repealed. Ratified 12/5/1933.

1. The eighteenth article of amendment to the Constitution of the United States is hereby repealed.

2. The transportation or importation into any State, Territory, or possession of the United States for delivery or use therein of intoxicating liquors, in violation of the laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.

3. The article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by conventions in the several States, as provided in the Constitution, within seven years from the date of the submission hereof to the States by the Congress.

Amendment 22 - Presidential Term Limits. Ratified 2/27/1951.

1. No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice, and no person who has held the office of President, or acted as President, for more than two years of a term to which some other person was elected President shall be elected to the office of the President more than once. But this Article shall not apply to any person holding the office of President, when this Article was proposed by the Congress, and shall not prevent any person who may be holding the office of President, or acting as President, during the term within which this Article becomes operative from holding the office of President or acting as President during the remainder of such term.

2. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment to the Constitution by the legislatures of three-fourths of the several States within seven years from the date of its submission to the States by the Congress.

Amendment 23 - Presidential Vote for District of Columbia. Ratified 3/29/1961.

1. The District constituting the seat of Government of the United States shall appoint in such manner as the Congress may direct: A number of electors of President and Vice President equal to the whole number of Senators and Representatives in Congress to which the District would be entitled if it were a State, but in no event more than the least populous State; they shall be in addition to those appointed by the States, but they shall be considered, for the purposes of the election of President and Vice President, to be electors appointed by a State; and they shall meet in the District and perform such duties as provided by the twelfth article of amendment.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 24 - Poll Tax Barred. Ratified 1/23/1964.

1. The right of citizens of the United States to vote in any primary or other election for President or Vice President, for electors for President or Vice President, or for Senator or Representative in Congress, shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or any State by reason of failure to pay any poll tax or other tax.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 25 - Presidential Disability and Succession. Ratified 2/10/1967.

1. In case of the removal of the President from office or of his death or resignation, the Vice President shall become President.

2. Whenever there is a vacancy in the office of the Vice President, the President shall nominate a Vice President who shall take office upon confirmation by a majority vote of both Houses of Congress.

3. Whenever the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that he is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, and until he transmits to them a written declaration to the contrary, such powers and duties shall be discharged by the Vice President as Acting President.

4. Whenever the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive departments or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall immediately assume the powers and duties of the office as Acting President.

Thereafter, when the President transmits to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives his written declaration that no inability exists, he shall resume the powers and duties of his office unless the Vice President and a majority of either the principal officers of the executive department or of such other body as Congress may by law provide, transmit within four days to the President pro tempore of the Senate and the Speaker of the House of Representatives their written declaration that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shall decide the issue, assembling within forty eight hours for that purpose if not in session. If the Congress, within twenty one days after receipt of the latter written declaration, or, if Congress is not in session, within twenty one days after Congress is required to assemble, determines by two thirds vote of both Houses that the President is unable to discharge the powers and duties of his office, the Vice President shall continue to discharge the same as Acting President; otherwise, the President shall resume the powers and duties of his office.

Amendment 26 - Voting Age Set to 18 Years. Ratified 7/1/1971.

1. The right of citizens of the United States, who are eighteen years of age or older, to vote shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any State on account of age.

2. The Congress shall have power to enforce this article by appropriate legislation.

Amendment 27 - Limiting Changes to Congressional Pay. Ratified 5/7/1992.

No law, varying the compensation for the services of the Senators and Representatives, shall take effect, until an election of Representatives shall have intervened.

The US Constitution - The First 10 Amendments

The Amendments

The following are the Amendments to the Constitution. The first ten Amendments collectively are commonly known as the Bill of Rights. History

Amendment 1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression. Ratified 12/15/1791.

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Amendment 2 - Right to Bear Arms. Ratified 12/15/1791.

A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

Amendment 3 - Quartering of Soldiers. Ratified 12/15/1791.

No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.

Amendment 4 - Search and Seizure. Ratified 12/15/1791.

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized.

Amendment 5 - Trial and Punishment, Compensation for Takings. Ratified 12/15/1791.

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.

Amendment 6 - Right to Speedy Trial, Confrontation of Witnesses. Ratified 12/15/1791.

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence.

Amendment 7 - Trial by Jury in Civil Cases. Ratified 12/15/1791.

In Suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.

Amendment 8 - Cruel and Unusual Punishment. Ratified 12/15/1791.

Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted.

Amendment 9 - Construction of Constitution. Ratified 12/15/1791.

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.

Amendment 10 - Powers of the States and People. Ratified 12/15/1791.

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.

The US Constitution - Articles 5, 6 and 7 with Ratification

Article V - Amendment

The Congress, whenever two thirds of both Houses shall deem it necessary, shall propose Amendments to this Constitution, or, on the Application of the Legislatures of two thirds of the several States, shall call a Convention for proposing Amendments, which, in either Case, shall be valid to all Intents and Purposes, as part of this Constitution, when ratified by the Legislatures of three fourths of the several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as the one or the other Mode of Ratification may be proposed by the Congress; Provided that no Amendment which may be made prior to the Year One thousand eight hundred and eight shall in any Manner affect the first and fourth Clauses in the Ninth Section of the first Article; and that no State, without its Consent, shall be deprived of its equal Suffrage in the Senate.

Article VI - Debts, Supremacy, Oaths

All Debts contracted and Engagements entered into, before the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be as valid against the United States under this Constitution, as under the Confederation.

This Constitution, and the Laws of the United States which shall be made in Pursuance thereof; and all Treaties made, or which shall be made, under the Authority of the United States, shall be the supreme Law of the Land; and the Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in the Constitution or Laws of any State to the Contrary notwithstanding.

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.

Article VII - Ratification Documents

The Ratification of the Conventions of nine States, shall be sufficient for the Establishment of this Constitution between the States so ratifying the Same.

Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth. In Witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names. Note

Go Washington - President and deputy from Virginia

New Hampshire - John Langdon, Nicholas Gilman

Massachusetts - Nathaniel Gorham, Rufus King

Connecticut - Wm Saml Johnson, Roger Sherman

New York - Alexander Hamilton

New Jersey - Wil Livingston, David Brearley, Wm Paterson, Jona. Dayton

Pensylvania - B Franklin, Thomas Mifflin, Robt Morris, Geo. Clymer, Thos FitzSimons, Jared Ingersoll, James Wilson, Gouv Morris

Delaware - Geo. Read, Gunning Bedford jun, John Dickinson, Richard Bassett, Jaco. Broom

Maryland - James McHenry, Dan of St Tho Jenifer, Danl Carroll

Virginia - John Blair, James Madison Jr.

North Carolina - Wm Blount, Richd Dobbs Spaight, Hu Williamson

South Carolina - J. Rutledge, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney, Charles Pinckney, Pierce Butler

Georgia - William Few, Abr Baldwin

Attest: William Jackson, Secretary

The US Constitution - Article 4

Article IV - The States

Section 1 - Each State to Honor all others

Full Faith and Credit shall be given in each State to the public Acts, Records, and judicial Proceedings of every other State. And the Congress may by general Laws prescribe the Manner in which such Acts, Records and Proceedings shall be proved, and the Effect thereof.

Section 2 - State citizens, Extradition

The Citizens of each State shall be entitled to all Privileges and Immunities of Citizens in the several States.

A Person charged in any State with Treason, Felony, or other Crime, who shall flee from Justice, and be found in another State, shall on demand of the executive Authority of the State from which he fled, be delivered up, to be removed to the State having Jurisdiction of the Crime.

(No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, But shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due.) (This clause in parentheses is superseded by the 13th Amendment.)

Section 3 - New States

New States may be admitted by the Congress into this Union; but no new States shall be formed or erected within the Jurisdiction of any other State; nor any State be formed by the Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, without the Consent of the Legislatures of the States concerned as well as of the Congress.

The Congress shall have Power to dispose of and make all needful Rules and Regulations respecting the Territory or other Property belonging to the United States; and nothing in this Constitution shall be so construed as to Prejudice any Claims of the United States, or of any particular State.

Section 4 - Republican government

The United States shall guarantee to every State in this Union a Republican Form of Government, and shall protect each of them against Invasion; and on Application of the Legislature, or of the Executive (when the Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.

The US Constitution - Article 3

Article III - The Judicial Branch

Section 1 - Judicial powers

The judicial Power of the United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, and in such inferior Courts as the Congress may from time to time ordain and establish. The Judges, both of the supreme and inferior Courts, shall hold their Offices during good Behavior, and shall, at stated Times, receive for their Services a Compensation which shall not be diminished during their Continuance in Office.

Section 2 - Trial by Jury, Original Jurisdiction, Jury Trials

(The judicial Power shall extend to all Cases, in Law and Equity, arising under this Constitution, the Laws of the United States, and Treaties made, or which shall be made, under their Authority; to all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls; to all Cases of admiralty and maritime Jurisdiction; to Controversies to which the United States shall be a Party; to Controversies between two or more States; between a State and Citizens of another State; between Citizens of different States; between Citizens of the same State claiming Lands under Grants of different States, and between a State, or the Citizens thereof, and foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.) (This section in parentheses is modified by the 11th Amendment.)

In all Cases affecting Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, and those in which a State shall be Party, the supreme Court shall have original Jurisdiction. In all the other Cases before mentioned, the supreme Court shall have appellate Jurisdiction, both as to Law and Fact, with such Exceptions, and under such Regulations as the Congress shall make.

The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, shall be by Jury; and such Trial shall be held in the State where the said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed within any State, the Trial shall be at such Place or Places as the Congress may by Law have directed.

Section 3 - Treason

Treason against the United States, shall consist only in levying War against them, or in adhering to their Enemies, giving them Aid and Comfort. No Person shall be convicted of Treason unless on the Testimony of two Witnesses to the same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court.

The Congress shall have power to declare the Punishment of Treason, but no Attainder of Treason shall work Corruption of Blood, or Forfeiture except during the Life of the Person attainted.

The US Constitution - Article 2

Article II - The Executive Branch

Section 1 - The President

The executive Power shall be vested in a President of the United States of America. He shall hold his Office during the Term of four Years, and, together with the Vice-President chosen for the same Term, be elected, as follows:

Each State shall appoint, in such Manner as the Legislature thereof may direct, a Number of Electors, equal to the whole Number of Senators and Representatives to which the State may be entitled in the Congress: but no Senator or Representative, or Person holding an Office of Trust or Profit under the United States, shall be appointed an Elector.

(The Electors shall meet in their respective States, and vote by Ballot for two persons, of whom one at least shall not lie an Inhabitant of the same State with themselves. And they shall make a List of all the Persons voted for, and of the Number of Votes for each; which List they shall sign and certify, and transmit sealed to the Seat of the Government of the United States, directed to the President of the Senate. The President of the Senate shall, in the Presence of the Senate and House of Representatives, open all the Certificates, and the Votes shall then be counted. The Person having the greatest Number of Votes shall be the President, if such Number be a Majority of the whole Number of Electors appointed; and if there be more than one who have such Majority, and have an equal Number of Votes, then the House of Representatives shall immediately chuse by Ballot one of them for President; and if no Person have a Majority, then from the five highest on the List the said House shall in like Manner chuse the President. But in chusing the President, the Votes shall be taken by States, the Representation from each State having one Vote; a quorum for this Purpose shall consist of a Member or Members from two-thirds of the States, and a Majority of all the States shall be necessary to a Choice. In every Case, after the Choice of the President, the Person having the greatest Number of Votes of the Electors shall be the Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, the Senate shall chuse from them by Ballot the Vice-President.) (This clause in parentheses was superseded by the 12th Amendment.)

The Congress may determine the Time of chusing the Electors, and the Day on which they shall give their Votes; which Day shall be the same throughout the United States.

No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of the United States, at the time of the Adoption of this Constitution, shall be eligible to the Office of President; neither shall any Person be eligible to that Office who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty-five Years, and been fourteen Years a Resident within the United States.

(In Case of the Removal of the President from Office, or of his Death, Resignation, or Inability to discharge the Powers and Duties of the said Office, the same shall devolve on the Vice President, and the Congress may by Law provide for the Case of Removal, Death, Resignation or Inability, both of the President and Vice President, declaring what Officer shall then act as President, and such Officer shall act accordingly, until the Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.) (This clause in parentheses has been modified by the 20th and 25th Amendments.)

The President shall, at stated Times, receive for his Services, a Compensation, which shall neither be increased nor diminished during the Period for which he shall have been elected, and he shall not receive within that Period any other Emolument from the United States, or any of them.

Before he enter on the Execution of his Office, he shall take the following Oath or Affirmation:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my Ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Section 2 - Civilian Power over Military, Cabinet, Pardon Power, Appointments

The President shall be Commander in Chief of the Army and Navy of the United States, and of the Militia of the several States, when called into the actual Service of the United States; he may require the Opinion, in writing, of the principal Officer in each of the executive Departments, upon any subject relating to the Duties of their respective Offices, and he shall have Power to Grant Reprieves and Pardons for Offenses against the United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.

He shall have Power, by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, to make Treaties, provided two thirds of the Senators present concur; and he shall nominate, and by and with the Advice and Consent of the Senate, shall appoint Ambassadors, other public Ministers and Consuls, Judges of the supreme Court, and all other Officers of the United States, whose Appointments are not herein otherwise provided for, and which shall be established by Law: but the Congress may by Law vest the Appointment of such inferior Officers, as they think proper, in the President alone, in the Courts of Law, or in the Heads of Departments.

The President shall have Power to fill up all Vacancies that may happen during the Recess of the Senate, by granting Commissions which shall expire at the End of their next Session.

Section 3 - State of the Union, Convening Congress

He shall from time to time give to the Congress Information of the State of the Union, and recommend to their Consideration such Measures as he shall judge necessary and expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or either of them, and in Case of Disagreement between them, with Respect to the Time of Adjournment, he may adjourn them to such Time as he shall think proper; he shall receive Ambassadors and other public Ministers; he shall take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed, and shall Commission all the Officers of the United States.

Section 4 - Disqualification

The President, Vice President and all civil Officers of the United States, shall be removed from Office on Impeachment for, and Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or other high Crimes and Misdemeanors.

The US Constitution - Article 1

Article I - The Legislative Branch

Section 1 - The Legislature

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

Section 2 - The House

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.

(Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons.) (The previous sentence in parentheses was modified by the 14th Amendment, section 2.) The actual Enumeration shall be made within three Years after the first Meeting of the Congress of the United States, and within every subsequent Term of ten Years, in such Manner as they shall by Law direct. The Number of Representatives shall not exceed one for every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representative; and until such enumeration shall be made, the State of New Hampshire shall be entitled to chuse three, Massachusetts eight, Rhode Island and Providence Plantations one, Connecticut five, New York six, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia ten, North Carolina five, South Carolina five and Georgia three.

When vacancies happen in the Representation from any State, the Executive Authority thereof shall issue Writs of Election to fill such Vacancies.

The House of Representatives shall chuse their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole Power of Impeachment.

Section 3 - The Senate

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, (chosen by the Legislature thereof,) (The preceding words in parentheses superseded by 17th Amendment, section 1.) for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the third Class at the Expiration of the sixth Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; (and if Vacancies happen by Resignation, or otherwise, during the Recess of the Legislature of any State, the Executive thereof may make temporary Appointments until the next Meeting of the Legislature, which shall then fill such Vacancies.) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 17th Amendment, section 2.)

No person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

Judgment in Cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than to removal from Office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit under the United States: but the Party convicted shall nevertheless be liable and subject to Indictment, Trial, Judgment and Punishment, according to Law.

Section 4 - Elections, Meetings

The Times, Places and Manner of holding Elections for Senators and Representatives, shall be prescribed in each State by the Legislature thereof; but the Congress may at any time by Law make or alter such Regulations, except as to the Place of Chusing Senators.

The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, and such Meeting shall (be on the first Monday in December,) (The preceding words in parentheses were superseded by the 20th Amendment, section 2.) unless they shall by Law appoint a different Day.

Section 5 - Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment

Each House shall be the Judge of the Elections, Returns and Qualifications of its own Members, and a Majority of each shall constitute a Quorum to do Business; but a smaller number may adjourn from day to day, and may be authorized to compel the Attendance of absent Members, in such Manner, and under such Penalties as each House may provide.

Each House may determine the Rules of its Proceedings, punish its Members for disorderly Behavior, and, with the Concurrence of two-thirds, expel a Member.

Each House shall keep a Journal of its Proceedings, and from time to time publish the same, excepting such Parts as may in their Judgment require Secrecy; and the Yeas and Nays of the Members of either House on any question shall, at the Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on the Journal.

Neither House, during the Session of Congress, shall, without the Consent of the other, adjourn for more than three days, nor to any other Place than that in which the two Houses shall be sitting.

Section 6 - Compensation

(The Senators and Representatives shall receive a Compensation for their Services, to be ascertained by Law, and paid out of the Treasury of the United States.) (The preceding words in parentheses were modified by the 27th Amendment.) They shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony and Breach of the Peace, be privileged from Arrest during their Attendance at the Session of their respective Houses, and in going to and returning from the same; and for any Speech or Debate in either House, they shall not be questioned in any other Place.

No Senator or Representative shall, during the Time for which he was elected, be appointed to any civil Office under the Authority of the United States which shall have been created, or the Emoluments whereof shall have been increased during such time; and no Person holding any Office under the United States, shall be a Member of either House during his Continuance in Office.

Section 7 - Revenue Bills, Legislative Process, Presidential Veto

All bills for raising Revenue shall originate in the House of Representatives; but the Senate may propose or concur with Amendments as on other Bills.

Every Bill which shall have passed the House of Representatives and the Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented to the President of the United States; If he approve he shall sign it, but if not he shall return it, with his Objections to that House in which it shall have originated, who shall enter the Objections at large on their Journal, and proceed to reconsider it. If after such Reconsideration two thirds of that House shall agree to pass the Bill, it shall be sent, together with the Objections, to the other House, by which it shall likewise be reconsidered, and if approved by two thirds of that House, it shall become a Law. But in all such Cases the Votes of both Houses shall be determined by Yeas and Nays, and the Names of the Persons voting for and against the Bill shall be entered on the Journal of each House respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by the President within ten Days (Sundays excepted) after it shall have been presented to him, the Same shall be a Law, in like Manner as if he had signed it, unless the Congress by their Adjournment prevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.

Every Order, Resolution, or Vote to which the Concurrence of the Senate and House of Representatives may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shall be presented to the President of the United States; and before the Same shall take Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by him, shall be repassed by two thirds of the Senate and House of Representatives, according to the Rules and Limitations prescribed in the Case of a Bill.

Section 8 - Powers of Congress

The Congress shall have Power To lay and collect Taxes, Duties, Imposts and Excises, to pay the Debts and provide for the common Defence and general Welfare of the United States; but all Duties, Imposts and Excises shall be uniform throughout the United States;

To borrow money on the credit of the United States;

To regulate Commerce with foreign Nations, and among the several States, and with the Indian Tribes;

To establish an uniform Rule of Naturalization, and uniform Laws on the subject of Bankruptcies throughout the United States;

To coin Money, regulate the Value thereof, and of foreign Coin, and fix the Standard of Weights and Measures;

To provide for the Punishment of counterfeiting the Securities and current Coin of the United States;

To establish Post Offices and Post Roads;

To promote the Progress of Science and useful Arts, by securing for limited Times to Authors and Inventors the exclusive Right to their respective Writings and Discoveries;

To constitute Tribunals inferior to the supreme Court;

To define and punish Piracies and Felonies committed on the high Seas, and Offenses against the Law of Nations;

To declare War, grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal, and make Rules concerning Captures on Land and Water;

To raise and support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money to that Use shall be for a longer Term than two Years;

To provide and maintain a Navy;

To make Rules for the Government and Regulation of the land and naval Forces;

To provide for calling forth the Militia to execute the Laws of the Union, suppress Insurrections and repel Invasions;

To provide for organizing, arming, and disciplining, the Militia, and for governing such Part of them as may be employed in the Service of the United States, reserving to the States respectively, the Appointment of the Officers, and the Authority of training the Militia according to the discipline prescribed by Congress;

To exercise exclusive Legislation in all Cases whatsoever, over such District (not exceeding ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particular States, and the acceptance of Congress, become the Seat of the Government of the United States, and to exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by the Consent of the Legislature of the State in which the Same shall be, for the Erection of Forts, Magazines, Arsenals, dock-Yards, and other needful Buildings; And

To make all Laws which shall be necessary and proper for carrying into Execution the foregoing Powers, and all other Powers vested by this Constitution in the Government of the United States, or in any Department or Officer thereof.

Section 9 - Limits on Congress

The Migration or Importation of such Persons as any of the States now existing shall think proper to admit, shall not be prohibited by the Congress prior to the Year one thousand eight hundred and eight, but a tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not exceeding ten dollars for each Person.

The privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it.

No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed.

(No capitation, or other direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion to the Census or Enumeration herein before directed to be taken.) (Section in parentheses clarified by the 16th Amendment.)

No Tax or Duty shall be laid on Articles exported from any State.

No Preference shall be given by any Regulation of Commerce or Revenue to the Ports of one State over those of another: nor shall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged to enter, clear, or pay Duties in another.

No Money shall be drawn from the Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations made by Law; and a regular Statement and Account of the Receipts and Expenditures of all public Money shall be published from time to time.

No Title of Nobility shall be granted by the United States: And no Person holding any Office of Profit or Trust under them, shall, without the Consent of the Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whatever, from any King, Prince or foreign State.

Section 10 - Powers prohibited of States

No State shall enter into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederation; grant Letters of Marque and Reprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit; make any Thing but gold and silver Coin a Tender in Payment of Debts; pass any Bill of Attainder, ex post facto Law, or Law impairing the Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility.

No State shall, without the Consent of the Congress, lay any Imposts or Duties on Imports or Exports, except what may be absolutely necessary for executing it's inspection Laws: and the net Produce of all Duties and Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shall be for the Use of the Treasury of the United States; and all such Laws shall be subject to the Revision and Controul of the Congress.

No State shall, without the Consent of Congress, lay any duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enter into any Agreement or Compact with another State, or with a foreign Power, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in such imminent Danger as will not admit of delay.

The US Constitution - The Project

There are a number of people today who like to refer to the US Constitution without ever having read it.

I particularly like hearing every ten years that the census is a recent invasion of privacy thought up by whomever someone doesn't like. This last census was blamed on the evil President Obama to check to see who was a Christian or not so the Christians may be particularly targeted for Islamic indoctrination. I kid you not. I heard this one while sitting next to a camp fire.

So to clear up any confusion anyone may have about our US Constitution, here is the text. I will also be posting the most important court cases concerning said constitution. I have already posted Marbury v. Madison.

Enjoy and remember, you can't argue a constitution that you have never read.

I Just Realized...

When the United States fought its way free of Britain and creating a democratic republic with a capitalist economic model, it was revolutionary. It was feared. France attempted to imitate the American Experiment immediately as soldiers came back from the American Revolution. Europe was terrified. They attacked France as soon as possible to contain the contagion. Over one hundred years later the United States was a powerhouse that was manufacturing everything and exporting to the world. After that the United States, that grand experiment, would be the powerhouse of the world.

Fast forward to Russia in 1917 and the Marxist revolution. The new model was the totalitarian dictatorship with a socialist model, mistakenly called communist. The world was shocked with the success. When Asia followed suit, the world attacked to contain the contagion. The United States, ironically, lead this attack. Nearly one hundred years later China is manufacturing everything and exporting to the world. Is China destined to take over as the ruler of the world?

Marbury vs. Madison 1803

Supreme Court of the United States

Argued February 11, 1803
Decided February 24, 1803

Full case name

William Marbury v. James Madison, Secretary of State of the United States

Citations

5 U.S. 137; 1 Cranch 137; 2 L. Ed. 60; 1803 U.S. LEXIS 352

Prior history

Original action filed in U.S. Supreme Court; order to show cause why writ of mandamus should not issue, December 1801

Subsequent history

None

Holding

Section 13 of the Judiciary Act of 1789 is unconstitutional to the extent it purports to enlarge the original jurisdiction of the Supreme Court beyond that permitted by the Constitution. Congress cannot pass laws that are contrary to the Constitution, and it is the role of the Judicial system to interpret what the Constitution permits.

Court membership

Chief Justice
John Marshall
Associate Justices
William Cushing · William Paterson
Samuel Chase · Bushrod Washington
Alfred Moore

Case opinions

Majority
Marshall, joined by Paterson, Chase, Washington
Cushing and Moore took no part in the consideration or decision of the case.

Laws applied

U.S. Const. arts. I, III; Judiciary Act of 1789 § 13

"It is emphatically the province and duty of the Judicial Department [the judicial branch] to say what the law is. Those who apply the rule to particular cases must, of necessity, expound and interpret that rule. If two laws conflict with each other, the Courts must decide on the operation of each.

So, if a law [e.g., a statute or treaty] be in opposition to the Constitution, if both the law and the Constitution apply to a particular case, so that the Court must either decide that case conformably to the law, disregarding the Constitution, or conformably to the Constitution, disregarding the law, the Court must determine which of these conflicting rules governs the case. This is of the very essence of judicial duty. If, then, the Courts are to regard the Constitution, and the Constitution is superior to any ordinary act of the Legislature, the Constitution, and not such ordinary act, must govern the case to which they both apply.

Those, then, who controvert the principle that the Constitution is to be considered in court as a paramount law are reduced to the necessity of maintaining that courts must close their eyes on the Constitution, and see only the law [e.g., the statute or treaty].

This doctrine would subvert the very foundation of all written constitutions."

Marshall

Marbury v. Madison

Women Only

Recently the team that put together Zenyatta's career created a separate lounge area for women. I don't get it. Why do women want to be separate from men in a world where we have been fighting to be with them in work and play and considered their equals? We fought to not be excluded and now we wish to exclude to feel "safe."

Are we still so backward that we need a separate place for women to feel safe? What are we? Saudi Arabia? Sure there are men that are not exactly the safest to be around. There are some women that are not safe to be around, but the majority of men are good men. Why would we want to exclude good men from our conversations and lives? Why do we need to feel "safe" from them? Aren't they our friends?

If men created a "men's only" lounge women would be getting court orders to be able to use the that lounge. If women want to exclude men it's ok. I don't get the double standard. How can we be equal with a double standard? Double standards create nothing but resentment and mistrust.

I am involved in a world that is very male dominated (off roading) and have frequently been the only woman for miles, and out of cell phone range, I have never felt I needed a "safe" place or a need to "separate" from the men I was around. If I separated myself I would not have learned all that I needed to know to be successful on the trail. I would have separated myself from a lot of valuable information and a lot of priceless friendship.

If I want to be considered equal, I must not make myself separate. If I want trust and understanding, I must be there to show who I am.

Back

Sort of. Still can't walk barefoot or wear heels. My foot is still not "normal." But I can ride the motorcycle and walk normally. Time to start hiking!

Pain Sets In

Ok, pain sets in everytime I put my foot in the lowered position. It will be a cranky me at work because of the pain. You've been warned.

Foot Surgery

I'm day six into my healing after surgery. My arms are sore, my shoulders hurt and I dread having to get up and use the crutches. Next Monday is viewed with dread. The long haul to the train and then the bus.

I didn't have a good time getting on or off the bus. The steep stairs and impatient people means that I could rebreak my foot since I don't have a cast. I asked a driver for assistance with the rear platform and he said he couldn't leave the steering wheel (bullshit) and after I got on the bus he informed me about the platform. Talk about retroactive covering the ass. The only thing that I will be thankful for with the express bus is that those busses are low platform and don't have stairs. Unfortunately, you stand for 20 minutes while a driver drinks coffee and bullshits with other drivers. The so called schedule is entirely at the whim of the drivers, who make up time by blowing through stale yellows and actually run reds.

The doctor's office x-rays revealed that my foot now has a curved bone in the foot. The bone was broken and re-oriented. Pins put in that look like wood screws and I have a much slimmer foot. I don't look forward to doing this next year. I might wait until the summer is over. I would like to have a summer to myself (a wedding and a funeral ate the past two summers).

Here is a view of the foot with the cripple shoe:



And here is a view of the stitches on Day 5:

Hoarding

I just spent a week cleaning out a hoarder's house. You see hoarder's houses on TV and the sanitizing effect of television cannot give you even the remotest idea how bad it is. The stench is overpowering and can penetrate a respirator.

I had to clean the house that my brother and I owned. We learned a valuable lesson about being the landlord of a renter who happens to be your own parent: Check up on them on a regular basis and treat them like any other tenant. We trusted our mother who we knew had a bit of a messy house cleaning history. I don't care if the person raised you, they are still human and prone to failure. Also, a relative will lie to you or hide things just as fast as a stranger. Had we done at least a yearly inspection of the house we would've moved her out long before the house got into the state we found it in after she passed away. True, we would've had to play footsie with her to disarm her (she's notorious for keeping a loaded gun by her side) but she would've been moved out to a home or a smaller place. We would not be forced to sell our property because the damage she caused will cost us more than we have resources for to repair. We were too cowardly to move her to a space that would be more controlled and her filthy habits checked.

Hoarding isn't just a spontaneous thing. It seems to be something inborn. My uncle, the brother of our mother, is also as dirty. The two had a neat mother and yet those two children of my grandmother are lazy and messy with an excuse for everything. My uncle uses the death of his third wife as an excuse for his filthy house. His house was filthy long before he ever met her. Our mother used rebellion as an excuse for her laziness.

Hoarders get something, anything and won't let it go. It becomes a part of who they are. They become stubborn and rebellious if you try to take it away from them. Hoarding is another addiction. Our mother has been an addict of some sort all her life. I laugh now when I think of her disgust with my drug experimentation in high school. Here was a woman who became addicted to cigarettes in the 1940s, tranquilizers in the 1950s and 1960s, became an alcoholic and gambler in the 1970s and she wants to preach to me? Hell, I quit drugs out of boredom. Some addict I am. Thank god I was a failure at it. She was a champ. She could get addicted to anything.

In the end, she got addicted to buying things on QVC and local auctions. Useless things that no one needs. Sometimes she bought useful things and never took them out of the package. Perfectly good items never even looked at. Just bought. Our mother believed, hook line and sinker, QVC's claims that certain things were "collector's items" and would be "worth money" in a few years. As an addict she believed her pusher. As a result there were ceramic items worth very little. Certainly the items were worth a great deal less than what she paid for them.

The other thing our mother collected was animals, cats in particular. The cats had turned the house into a huge litter box. The stench of the urine and feces was overpowering. We shoveled it out. Many things were ruined by the piles of feces, cat hair and the snot from sick cats sneezing on them. None of the cats had seen a vet, many were unapproachable and feral in the house. A friend had trapped and removed most of them by the time we got there. A few cats were still in residence but they were kicked out into the yard to fend for themselves.

Lucky was one of those ferals. This poor cat had contracted just about everything a cat can get. His eyes told a tale of distemper. He had a scar from a huge abscess that had healed. He sneezed constantly. His coat was rough. Lucky's tail had been run over repeatedly by our mother's wheel chair. It had a bent spot and hooked at the end. Lucky wanted to be everyone's friend. The poor kitten just wanted to be loved, but no one dared pick him up. He was completely unadoptable. Had he been trapped and taken to a shelter he would've been destroyed inside 12 hours. I decided Lucky should be allowed to take his chances with the great outdoors. He seemed like a tough little guy. When he was finally kicked out of the house, 12 hours outside the house cleared up his poor eyes some. The effect of having been outside away from the ammonia in the house. Unfortunately, he was totally an indoor kitten and didn't even know where to find water, let alone food. Let's hope he's as intelligent as he is tough.

We were too late for 16 other kittens. They were dead all over the house. One mummified cat upstairs was probably locked in when the upstairs was permanently closed. The poor animal probably died of heat and thirst. Others were found flattened under piles of things. They were probably sick and crawled into small spaces to die. Many were flattened by the crowd of junk piled on top of them after they died. Many were barely recognizable as cats. Only the skull said what the pile of fur was. Even the bones were turning to dust. Some were dead under the bed. Only one cat as a recent death. He had crawled under the grandfather clock and was still putrefying.

In the end we moved two and a half tons of garbage, ruined furnishings, contaminated clothing, unsalvagable housewares, etc. Multiple generations of memories were hauled in a grain truck to the garbage dump.

If you have an elderly relation living alone, check on them. Don't believe their tales of "everything is ok." Look and, even if it causes a family fight, move them to a safe and clean place if you can. If you are the owner of the property, pull your rank as landlord and evict before you lose the property to the cost of repairs.

Profound Thoughts On Pot

Two times in my life I’ve had a world changing profound thought. Both times I was high on pot. The first time I was 16 and had the good fortune to have a friend with a hippy mom. Her mom thought any drug was harmless if it was natural. Her kids toked up on a regular basis without fear. Just as long as they left Mom’s stash alone.

For Christmas one year she decided to give the kids a present. She made certain that Santa left them a kilo of weed under the tree. Yeah, an entire two point two pound brick of good Acapulco. We dived headfirst into that brick like it was a swimming pool filled with chocolate.

By this time in history I was seeing my friend’s brother. It wasn’t just convenience, it was love. Or a strange lust after a night of beer binging, pot smoking and puking in the driveway. Yeah, those were the good old days. But I digress.

After smoking as much pot as we could inhale off that brick, I suddenly had a profound thought. This thought was going to change the world. It was going to reorder the universe. I had to write it down. I found a way to get upright and ambulatory. I went to the most logical place to get pen and paper, the kitchen. There I found my boyfriend leaning over the sink.

“No two drips are the same,” he said, not looking up.

I thought that was pretty good, but not profound. I abandoned him for pen and paper, which I found on the dryer on the back porch. I wrote down my profound thought and left it under the salt-shaker on the kitchen table. It was time for bed. Which ended up being the recliner. I went to sleep communing with the whales, who were in an ocean that was a good twenty miles away. (Turned out it was just Pink Floyd over and over. But again I digress. Pot does that to you.)

Next morning everyone started drifting in from wherever they had collapsed. The mom was probably at her boyfriend’s place. I remembered my profound thought and went looking for it. I remembered it had something to do with the sink. Somehow that translated to salt-shaker after a wake up toke. My note was where I left it on the kitchen table.

My world changing, universe-reordering thought was:

“There’s a funny smell in the room.”

Flash forward from the god awful seventies to the late irritating nineties. I was camping with a bunch of pagans and things were pretty interesting, but not as weird as the world would like to think. One of the guys had a teenage son with him who happened to have a few joints on hand. It had been over a decade since I had smoked my way up the AlCan Highway in the dead of winter, crossing two international borders with a cat, a dog, a rat, a husband and a big stash of weed in the car, and I figured I was about due for a hit. I partook of the pagan’s weed and settled in to enjoy the campfire.

At some point after the weed took hold of my brain I had another of those profound thoughts. This time I did not write it down. No, this time I announced it to the world straight away, or actually, leaned over to my friend and said:

“I just smoked a joint and ruined a perfectly good party. I’m going to bed.”

Roman Story: On The Farm

I have things to say. I just don't feel like saying them right now. So here's a story beginning to read. If you want, finish it.

It is the second year of drought. I am not certain how much longer this can go on. My father's farms are not going to bring in much. The whole idea of farming is becoming a losing proposition.

Now I remember these are no longer my father's farms. They are my farms. My father lost his life for Rome. He lost it for our way of life. He lost it for his farms and the farms of every other patrician in Rome. His glorious funeral was last month. I am still not used to the idea of being the head of the family.

I look out over the dusty fields. A couple of slaves mend a fence. How will I justify keeping them if the farms do not produce? I notice they are not working all that hard. I will have to speak to Quintelus. He needs to get after them more. Spare the rod; spoil the slave.

I walk back to the family villa. My sister Julia is seated on our overlook. She has her paints out.

"So, will you send that one to the Emperor?" I startle her.

"Lucius!" She groans, "You need to stop sneaking up like that."

"I was just admiring your work." I protest.

"You are just trying to make me make a mistake." She knows me far too well.

Julia taps her brush end on her chin, "I saw you walk from the south fields. Do you think the crops will come in?"

"No." I stretch myself out on the grass. "The rains didn't come in time, so the grain will not head enough to harvest."

"That's not good," Julia frowns, "With mother making big sacrifices and sponsoring games in our father's name, we need the money."

I consider this, "We'll get by. No one will say that the Julian family has become middle class. Good crops or bad."

Julia is not convinced. She dabs at her painting. Putting down her brush, "You know mother doesn't really care about the honor of father's name but what the games and sacrifices look like. She only cares about who will talk about it and what they will say. Father's memory is just a convenient excuse for her to show off. If it is not bigger than everyone else's then she will think we've gone middle class. I seriously don't think she has any idea what our situation really is."

"You've been peeking at my books again." I shake a finger at my nosey sister. "Bad Julia. No man will want a nosey woman for a wife."

She turns to me. "The money is gone, isn't it?"

I carefully form my words, "We are not poor. The farms are our main source of income now. Father sold off our businesses to fund his part in the war. Prices have gone up on everything except grain since some of the eastern routes are too dangerous. To top it off, mother spends like it's twenty years ago and we had a position at court."

"Are you going to the City?" Julia asks. "Will you take his senate seat?"

"I'm afraid I must if we are to keep our influence."

Julia gives me a sad look, "I will miss you."

I shoot her a look. "What? You're not coming?"

"No." She turns back to her painting. She takes a couple of slow strokes at the picture. "I have decided to stay here where it is quiet." She smiles down at me, "I want to have time to paint."

"I know you are not interested in mother's parties and friends, but what about a husband?"

"I've been thinking about that," she says. "With our finances, a dowry would be too great an expense." Julia smiles, "And I'm just not interested in anything mother might find for me."

"Oh, you wouldn't want a fat, perfumed senator?" I tease. "Or how about one of those feminine senators' sons?"

"Like you?" My sister arches one eyebrow in a return tease.

I get up and stretch. The air is too dry. All wrong for this time of year. It smells of famine, disease and unrest. Looking over our property, I wonder if we will be visited by plague again.

One hundred years ago Rome was hit hard by the Antonine Plague. Our countryside was severely depopulated. Since then, we have had nothing but lawlessness, taxation and inflation. The troubles have driven the honest freemen from their tenancy on the farms to the city. The government encouraged it by creating a dole to prop up the slave merchants who bought influence from the senators. Slaves can make a fortune for a man, but bankrupt the government since slaves and the wealthy who own them pay no taxes.

I am forced to buy slaves to work my land since there are no freemen left to work for me. The taxes here in the countryside are just too high for them to stay with me. Cheaper to be an indigent on the dole. So I am force to use a work force that I have to whip into their work. I also have to house and feed them. Something I never had to do with the free tenants. Whoever did the math and said slaves are cheaper than freemen was an illiterate.

I muse. These are the things I would tackle in the Senate. Even as young as I am, I know that the Senate is not there to pass good laws. It exists to enrich those who sit on the benches. Senators can vote themselves lucrative "public works" and can gain favor from the populace by holding day after day of games.

I feel as Julia does. The Eternal City is a waste of time. If she is not happy with the lazy, effete men of Rome, then I am equally fed up with the idiotic, amoral women. They say that to find a virgin these days you must enter a nursery and steal the girl as she nurses from the breast.

Unfortunately, I have our family to look after, so off to Rome I must go. I must secure my position in the senate and my family's position in society. I might as well secure my share of the public revenue. Oh, and I guess I should look for a wife as well. The family will need another heir.

Dumb Dog

Barefoot in the dark because of the dog. Winner of the "Daily Flash Fiction Challenge"

Ouch, ouch, ouch. I'm going to kill that dog. When I get my hands on that barking rat, I'm going to kill him. I'm going to marinate him, then I’m going to stick him on the spit. Yeeouch! Why didn't I slip my shoes on before chasing the dog? I somehow managed to grab the flashlight. I guess I can beat the dog with it when I catch him.

Oh great. Now I'm in deep doodoo. I just fell headfirst into the swimming pool. Actually, it's what will be the swimming pool. Right now it's a hole in the ground. Where's the flashlight? Wonderful, my ankle is toast. So is the dog when I get my fingers around his throat.

Speak of the devil, here is the hound from hell now and what's that in his mouth? Dogs are disgusting. They will wrap their lips around anything. The more revolting, the better he likes it. Don't just look at me. Make like Lassie and go get some help. Nope. Not my dog. He's just going to stand there on the edge of this hole with what looks like a bird's nest in his mouth and look like what he is: a dumb dog.

It is cold out, my feet are cold, my ankle hurts and hello, what's this? Why is my cell phone in my pocket and not in the house on the charger? Ok, one time I can say my absentmindedness is useful.

I dial my other half and pray he's not in the middle of something noisy at the studio. Meanwhile, my dumb dog has put down his prize and looks at me with that stupid, happy expression.

"Hello, honey? I'm in a hole."