Saturday, July 31, 2010

In Memorium

Joyce Halstead July 17, 1928 to July 28, 2010

My words for my mother's funeral:

Last time we were at one of these events Mom and I got into trouble for laughing. We were remembering the silly things Dad did. But that was Mom, she could find the humor in the worst situations. It was a form of sanity. One I've learned to use since.

Was she a saint? No. We are glad she wasn't. If she had been, she would've been bland and boring, and that's everyone else's mom.

There is a quote from Act III, Scene II of Shakespeare's A Midsummer Night's Dream that describes her perfectly: "And though she be but little, she is fierce." That stubborn temper could get her in trouble one minute and out of it the next. But I know I'm in trouble now for that "little part." She always said she was 5'2" and a half inches tall. Never forget that half. She didn't.

Speaking of trouble. She could be devastatingly funny. It seemed the more trouble I was in, the funnier she got. And then I got in trouble for appreciating the funny by laughing. One of her witicisms that should be immortalized was "If you had a brain you'd take it out and play with it." Now you see why keeping a straight face was so difficult while she was trying to impart wisdom and discipline.

She was the involved mom. She would hold an animal at a fair, cut up oranges for the soccer team or use her nice station wagon as a livestock hauler...or a kid hauler. It wasn't unusual for her to load up an entire 4-H club and go to some event. These were the days before every kid had to have his or her own seat belt and you could just stack 'em in the back.

She snuck education in on our summer vacations. We learned about the western half of the US from the back of the station wagon. We saw the historic and the beautiful while traveling to and from Kansas to visit family. These trips taught us to enjoy the journey, not just the destination.

She would show you how to shoot a gun or sew a seam, and gender didn't enter into her mind. If you think you're capable, do it. She was far ahead of her time in that way. She was a one woman women's movement, but couldn't stand the Feminist Movement of the 70s. She inspired me to do as I please because she did.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Quotable Me

The following quotes are my own creations. They are constantly updating as life marches on. These quotes are not from some larger piece. They are stand alone writings. Sometimes a person just has a short something to say to the world. (Hey, isn't that a new quote?)

After spending an evening with a former boyfriend I realized: "I find it amusing that men who have been involved with me are completely astonished when they find I have a talent for something. I explain to them that they would have noticed said talent had they not been so enamoured of themselves."

When asked why I divorced, I sat thinking about the real reasons. After a moment I came up with: "I used to think I left my husband because of his deceit and infidelity, but now I realize that it was entirely my distaste for being told what to do."

Someone asked me why I was so cynical about relationships, I answered: "Don't mistake bitter cynicsm for abject terror."

One day I thought about why I am the way I am and why my life is as it is: "I've always been about the journey. When I get to where I'm going, I check on everyone's health and happiness. I find out who is dying, who has died and who should die. Then I'm ready to go home by a different route. I don't believe in hanging around. I treat just about every aspect of my life that way. It doesn't matter if it is traveling, education, career, or even love, I am just not interested in the destination."

After encountering the indifference to the war in Iraq I came to this conclusion: "The problem with this country is that we haven't had a war on our soil since 1865. Unless you're Native American, and then you can move that forward a couple more decades. But the result is the same. We don't know what war is. We haven't had to suffer. Maybe it would be good for us if we did."

A hard won lesson that has resurfaced again and again: "Something I learned in the Army, and have had proven to me over and over since, is that a man can screw up and, after a little razzing from his friends, be forgiven just about anything. If a woman screws up, she's forgiven nothing. Ever."

This explains my bank account: "I will never be rich. I just don't have a good sense of greed."

"Churches, temples, etc. are vehicles in which a man who cannot gain a country to govern, governs other men using their lack of self confidence and fear of death, and that governance frequently dives into corruption and sadism because there is no one who can call the leadership to account since their authority is from a source conspicuously and conveniently absent."

"On faith I firmly believe in 'Religion is what you do on Sunday; faith is what you do everyday.' Now that thought in hand, I believe that if you are your own clergy and your own Pope, you will be healthy, happy and have a balanced view of the world since your views are not dictated by a third party."

"I've come the realization as to why I quit doing drugs while still in high school: I was bored."

Monday, July 19, 2010

XT 250 on the Freeway - Plus Rant

I'm exhausted. A Yamaha XT 250 is brutal on a long trip. I did an 80 mile trip down to Oceanside from Hollywood. It was not a fun trip.

I got passed by everything and it's cousin while I was doing 70mph. The bike would head shake if I went faster. The wind got to the bike and caused more head shake.

The worst part of riding such a small bike is the god awful seat. Imagine straddling a cinder block for two and a half hours. No more riding anywhere that takes more than an hour.

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Rant:

Don't drop names with me if you want something. I'm not impressed. It makes me drag my feet. Most stars are whiny throw-aways with more hang ups than a coat closet who are an inconvenience at best. Why would I be impressed by that? Name dropping may play well in Kansas but I live here. I'm as impressed with that as I am a map to the stars' homes. A map to the stars' homes make a great paper for the dog to pee on. Too bad I can't let him pee on a star.

Friday, July 16, 2010

Neglect

I should not neglect this. I love to write, but some days you just look at the blog and wonder, does anyone ever read this crap?

Ok, here's the plan:

1. Start putting my writings up. I'll start with some of the archived stuff. So you might be reading short stories, parts of longer possibilities, stuff I put on other sites (I don't feel like repeating myself), quotes by yours truely and other random "literature."

2. Occasional political rants. To become more than occasional if shit doesn't straighten up soon.

3. Random bullshit.

4. Get used to the language. I'm old enough not to care anymore.

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Random Thought:

Get used to these....

The only reason unemployment is being held hostage is that one particular party doesn't like the fact that they lost the presidency. Rather childish but look at their record over the past 2 years. On top of that, if any one of their party decides to actually think and vote their conscience or constituency, that person is ostracized and an attempt at getting rid of them the next election cycle begins. If only the American people would wake up to the fact that if unemployment runs out, the rest of us who are employed could face another Great Depression that could throw us out of work. Remember, Hoover didn't believe in relief for the unemployed, and look where that got us. And remember, Hoover was a Republican.